08-27-08 - 8:23 a.m.
Every time my period comes my heart breaks. I want to be a mom so bad. I don’t know why I get my hopes up every month. They always get shattered. I wish that I had enough money to do Invetro-fertilization, but how in the world am I going to find or save 20,000 plus dollars to do it. I have started saving, but I have only been able to save 1,000 dollars in a year. I never thought that trying to get pregnant would be so difficult. I wish I didn’t have Endometriosis, the cause of my monthly heart break and pain. Grr!
On the plus side, Victor went to go sign his contract for his new job. We will see how much he will be getting paid. I hope it is enough to add money to the savings account. I just need us to get on our feet enough to take out a medical loan. I suppose I could just win the lottery. Ha, ha!
I still put my faith in God that I will someday have my baby.
I wouldn’t be in such a tight spot if my insurance would just cover infertility. I don’t understand why insurance companies will cover birth control and abortion, but won’t do anything for those who desperately want to be parents. This whole dilemma has been just as difficult for Victor as it is for me. Right now I am not pleased with how my life has been going. Everyone around me is able to get pregnant, but I can’t seem to.
If you read this journal, please pray for me. I think I need all the prayers I can get.